The Best Hidden Bars in Melbourne
You're ready to rock out with your pocket out! Hopefully by the time you've read this line you have one of our funky fashionable pocket squares ready to be rocked out at some of the bars we're about to talk about.
Be warned though, our pocket squares turns heads. They are conversation starters. If you're the type where you avoid people making eye contact with you and talking to you then these pocket squares aren't for you. And also you are that type, you may want to go speak to someone about that because that is literally the one thing humans usually do (look at you when you're conversing) so I would hate to imagine what you go through on a daily basis, you poor bugger. Let's get to the blog!
What's not to love about Melbourne? From the world's best food hailing from all parts of the world to the trendiest hot spots, it's no unknown fact that Melbourne hosts some of the best-hidden bars that planet Earth has to offer.
Let's explore some of the best and funkiest ones the Mr. Pocket Rocket team has discovered and then had a few too many and forgot when we woke up the next morning exactly where the bar as it was hidden, to begin with, and also didn't help the fact we had a few too many beverages.
Jungle Boy - Chapel St, Windsor
JUNGLE BOY! Guess how you get to this place is? Go on, guess lol. You have to walk into a small little sandwich shop, walk up to their fridge and open it like a boss. When I was told you had to do this, I thought someone was taking the piss. Just picture watching your friend walk into someone's shop and just randomly open their fridge because you told them that was a secret entrance to a hidden bar.
This venue has the perfect atmosphere where you want an intimate vibe and decor where it's funky (much like the name Jungle Boy) trees, ferns and just a cool finish that makes you want to skip going to the next bar.
Drink of choice here is a Zombie cocktail that's delivered to you in a tiki mug and best of all a flaming lime! Now, imagine drinking that sucker whilst wearing a vibrant pink pocket square in a grey blazer, paired with dark jeans and a white shirt, tanned belt and shoes. If you're on a date decked out like that I tell you what son, hope your room is neat and tidy to impress your lady/guy friend.
Eau De Vie - Melbourne, CBD
It took me about 15 minutes of walking around like a headless chook just to find the entrance of this place. Google maps take you in the wrong direction, and as a result, the frustration kicks in. You start getting angry, taking it out on your partner, questioning your navigating skills, your life and existence and whether or not the earth is flat.
When you finally find the entrance, it's well worth the wait. Just a heads up, the door is really heavy. I was trying to impress my date all night, and when I came up to the door I didn't realise how heavy the son of a bitch was. I did one of those half-assed opens where it shut back on me and I pulled this weird face. Long story short, my masculinity was questioned. I had to make it up for it the entire night by drinking beer to look more like a man when all I wanted was their delicious fruity cocktails.
The best part of this venue is their huge range of food paired with amazing cocktails and whisky selections. The fried eggplant is amazing. Their drinks come out all smokey, it's an absolute treat for it to be served to you. As soon as it comes, be prepared to get Boomerang / Instragram ready to record the smoking drink. Everyone does, so don't be shy!
Our pick is the cheese nights and cocktail degustations. It's easy, there are no food regrets and is there anything better than having paired cheeses with different whisky?!
Hihou - Melbourne, CBD
Japanese food, sake, and whisky. Probably the best combination to pair. The best thing about the food is that it doesn't leave you feeling sick and full. The lightness of the food allows you to want to kick on the for the rest of the night feeling good. Imagine if you were on a date and you just downed a plate of greasy ribs. You're playing a very dangerous game. Now, instead substitute that with a plate of fresh sashimi, or fried crumbed eggplant, pickled mushroom and leek. You'll ooze with class son!
The door is hard to find, but when you do you have to ring the bell to enter. The venue offers an escape from the usual hustle and bustle and also takes you on a journey to Japan for the night.
The candles that dimly light the room will reveal a layout which follows the Japanese philosophy of simplicity. Dinner by candlelight. Mate, do you want to impress people even more? What else do you want? From natural low stone tables, wooden blocks, exposed concrete and reclining on a large ottoman which lines the edges of the room you are in for the full Japanese experience.
Note: Wear your best socks for the evening, if you've booked a spot in the top-tier dining space you'll be asked to take your shoes off. The last thing you want is to be going for that sockless look and actually not wearing a sock, taking off your loafers thinking you're all hipster and then realising the room stinks of your feet. Yeah, not even our funky pocket squares can save you from that.
Our picks: Hihou hot dog, 'Cuban' spicy tuna cigars, Teriyaki-sweet anago (which is eel. Now, don't freak out. Just order it, it'll show how cultured you are. Don't worry, it tastes amazing, and if you didn't know it was eel, you would be in heaven)
The cocktails are paired with plum wine and grain spirit. It's more of a refined and cultured atmosphere with their drinks and food. However, take your partners parents here to impress and show your sophistication and culture!